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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Goodbye My Lover


Saturday, October 22, 2011

NET of LOVE..


The boy returned home with his heart happily beating. He was tired, since he covered half of Budapest. He’s been anticipating this moment for more than 6 months when his savings will pay for his internet connection and the world will open before him. The often heard, almost slogan came into his mind: “The information superhighway will become the most heavily traveled road of the next century.”

What he felt was not quite happiness, but an emotion far more unique and noble played around his throat. He was proud to have broken out of the gray circle of dusty commonality. With the help of his computer he can even soar to places that have never before appeared on his mind’s horizon.

Ten p.m. The adventure is about to begin. He typed in his nick and passwords and in that instant it felt as though the sparks of his soul had just landed on the stage of night. He was ecstatic when he typed in the first address and the www page actually crackled onto his monitor. “This is fantastic. From now on I can be on the net as long as I want and never be bored. There are millions of pages waiting to be discovered!”

That is exactly how it was, at least for the first month or two. Then he felt that he needed something else. The holes he felt in his soul were not patched by the adventures. He was about to lay aside the magic net when he discovered something. Someone, from among those who were up to now, in the background shadows for our hero simply said: chat.

The fabric that had meant the world had once again became fully charged with excitement. It was true, he never experienced this before. He could talk with people ‘live’, who as himself, sat hunched over a plastic box filled with microchips and typed their questions and answers into tiny windows.

Time, once again, as a heartless thief had taken the fire from his eyes….that is, until suddenly a small blue square flashed. It was a girl who asked for help, and kindness over-flown from her words. It did not take much for the boy’s soul to comprehend perfect harmony. In this impersonal, yet in some ways far more personal world, two souls have touched.

The mirage of unlimited freedom had buckled his heart, into which an unexpected thought moved in: LOVE. He felt love toward someone he met only a few days before, and with whom he was able to exchange merely a few words, even those over a monitor.
Someone he’s never seen. The keyboard revealed virtually nothing, yet the girl, that sweet butterfly, gave away part of her unblemished soul with every stroke of a key to that other heart who, with increasingly concentrated purpose whispered between bit-per-second that word which for humanity became overused, schematic, yet at the same time still represents the paradise of dreams.

Why should we always organize through the cool etiquette of reality? Why does the power appear silly that combined beauty with beast, and the soul with the soulful? Could it be that two people, two such individuals who perhaps never would have met had they not been caught in the elements of modern life, could it be that they are in love with each other?

A mere few hours of in-depth conversation, but the human emotion does not recognize the lifeless combination of time and distance. Emotions refuse to allow themselves to be pressed into the mold of the everyday routine, they don’t give in to the flooding emptiness and forceful attack of lifelessness. Treatherous waters for sure, never knowing who and when will show their real face or when they will hide behind a pleasant mask. But the girl was herself. The boy felt, he knew that his net-shine can not be false, can’t be fake. They met every night spending all possible time together.

This feeling was not present elsewhere: the boy was surrounded by his internet friends, and there was the Girl but still, his soul was afraid. The echo of emptiness, the cold buzz of evil always woke him from his sweetest dreams, fragmenting peaceful moments. These two souls still found each other. Found each other in the fabric of a world-wide net and in such a fashion that would never have been possible in the real world.

The same monitor that used to be seen as the surface for boring characters of a text, at this moment came to represent Life. Real Life. The few currents of electricity, the micrometer’s worth of magic that was constructed by thoughtful, expert hands and the hundreds of ilometers of telephone cable, like some kind of a vein as a warm life supplying vein in the body, tied to each other the boy and the girl, on that stormy, and netted night
.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cru$hEd . . .


It was last year when I met him during a school carnival. I was walking with my friend into the school of business when she bumped into her classmates. I didn't know what actually happened but I remembered I was staring at this particular guy in the group. From that day onwards, he never left my mind.

After months of consideration, I finally took the first step. I wrote a letter to him confessing I actually was attracted by him and if we could be friends. I got my friend to pass him the letter and we started being friends.

At first, he didn't know what I looked like as he didn't remember seeing me. One day, my friend tricked me into going to her computer lab. He was there. It was then we first met and spoke. He shook my hand and introduced himself. Ever since then, I started seeing more of him.

I started sending him messages to his cell phone daily. It could be a daily good-night message or just to tell him to take care. He would usually reply to my messages. One day, after the exams, I finally asked him out. We went to eat dinner and after that, we went back to school at night and sat at the exit staircase staring at the stars, drinking and chatting. It was then I felt that I was really in love with this guy. He sent me home later. From that day on, I could not get him out of my mind.

Somehow, I started seeing him quite often. He works at Starbucks so I would go there to study and hang out. Hanging out was just an excuse for me to see him. We would bump into each other in school daily and smile and say Hi. Sometimes, we would joke around and just chat.

During Christmas, I bought a gift for him. It took me some time to actually pass it to him. He was appreciative. In return, he gave me a wallet. At first, I was joyful. Then, I found out he gave my friend a Christmas present too when she hadn't bought him anything. But that didn't mean anything to me. Receiving a gift from him was all I could think of.

Months later, after our second trip to the movies we started seeing each other less and the messages became less. After 4 months, I finally got my friend to ask whether he liked me or he knew my feelings for him. All the while, she wanted to ask him that but I wasn't ready to face the truth. Deep down in my heart, I actually knew the answer but I couldn't face up to reality. After 4 months, I felt I was ready.

I got my answer. He rejected me. He didn't like me. However, my friend didn't tell me that. Instead, she got another friend to tell me the answer over the phone. I kept silent and tears started falling from my eyes. The tears just kept falling. It didn't stop.

My heart was shattered. It left a scar behind. I no longer can love. I no longer can face him. To me, love was a mistake. But I would never regret ever loving him.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

My Story (Found Love After 11 Years)


Found love after 11 years.

It’s about 1999, when I was in 9th standard. In my class there was a cute guy, who has the cutest deep dimple on his cheek. In Those days, for me he was only my cute class mate and friend. He used to like me. For him I was not only a class mate or not only friend, but more than a friend. He got admission in 7th standard. But from 7th to 8th standard, I never know that he likes me a lot or may be loves me. When we came in 9th standard, most of my class mates were aware about his sweet feelings for me. We both started to treat each other as a good friend, we teased each other, fight with each other & also talked with each other. But we had never spent any single moment after school hours. One day he gave me a sweet teddy as a gift, but I threw it outside of my class window. I had never taken him seriously.

One day I heard that he is going from school because his father got transfer. I really felt bad. Because on that day I realize that I have some feelings for him but I was not aware of my own feeling. Finally his last day in school, he came to meet all friends for last time, or also to meet me, he was in formal dress, not in school uniform. He was looked like a sweet boy. I saw him I was jus waiting, that at least he will say last bye 2 me. But I really don’t know when he was vanished. After school time one of his friend gave me a gift (music cassette) on behalf of my cute dimpled boy, but I returned it because my lovely boy had already gone.

On that day after reached home I really felt bad, & in night time I cried a lot. After that day we were never in contact. He was my first crush & for him I was also his first crush. In March 2011, suddenly I started to search my dimpled cheek boy. Before start to search him there was lots of question going in my mind, can I search him? Or not? If yes than how will he react; he is engaged or still single? He will reply me or not?? And so many questions were there.

Finally my lovely day come in May month. I found him on Face book; it was bit difficult for me, to search him on net, especially on FB because I was not used to of Face book & I knew his name only, not a place nor a Surname of his. But when I searched the Dimpled cheek boy, that day I was too much happy, there was no boundary of my happiness. But I was bit tensed also, whether he will accept my friend request or what, and he accepted it. He was also too much happy; he called me on same day. We were in contact after a long gap of 11-12 years. We talked almost 1 hour & both were in unexpected situation. For me it was just like a fairy tale. But things are not in favor, today he in U.K. & he wants to build up his career. I really don’t wants to create any problem for his career. I just want that one day he will reached to success. I am too much happy because I found my dimpled cheek boy. So what if we can’t be together. His happiness and success is enough for me. His birthday is coming on 24th June, & I want to dedicate this lovely true story to him. God bless him
.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

lOvE biRds...


Two lonely cranes sail through the crimson light,
In silhuoette
And landed,
More graceful than a ballerina's grace.

He nudged her head affectionately,
She kissed him.
He slowly caresses her arm,
She began exploring the gentle curve of his neck...
trailing kisses...
here...
and
there...

He whispered a sweet melody into her ear,
She bubbled with joyous laughter.

Two bodies entwine before the glowing sunset.
Driven by passions they began to call each other's name.
Faster and faster,
Sweating with rapid, heavy breathing,
Both trying to match the desires for each other.

And then a whirring object slice through the blood red sky.

Silence.

Dead silence.

Seems like eternity.

He fell to the ground with a heartbreaking thud.
Looked into her dark lovely eyes now swimming in tears,
So beautiful...

With the last of his effort
He gave her a sweet caw:

I love you my love,
You were the reason of my very existence.
Until death do us apart.

Fly my love, fly into the heavenly sky.
One day, we shall meet again.
And this time, not even death can do us apart.
He smiled serenely,
Fighting to keep his increasingly heavy eyelids open.

And then a wail...
Deep...
Long...
And scorching...
As if something was dying of a heart wound.

The sun is sinking in the horizon,
Silently weeping as her life-giving arms retreats.

She turned to the sky,
And flew as her lover commanded.
Oh my brave one...
Flew higher
And higher
And higher
And higher
Her graceful arms never a moment faltering.

Oh how peaceful it is up here...
The stars are slowly twinkling away from their daylight shyness.

And she swooped down.
Flew lower
And lower
And lower
And lower
Suddenly into the rock beside her beloved.

She gave him a sweet caw:

Do not leave yet, my love
I am coming too.
She kissed him.

The hunter slowly emerged from the forest,
Bow in one hand and a rope in another.
He kneel down in front of the lovers.

Looks up into the bittersweet sky, and see
Just as the sun's final rays descends into complete darkness.
Just as the two lovers hurry to catch the chariot into perpetual happiness.

He shook his head sadly
As he tied both cranes.
Tonight, his family won't starve

Thursday, September 15, 2011

True Love Never Has An Ending



August 8, 2002- the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember it all so clearly as if it was just yesterday. I was only fifteen at the time and was about to enter the tenth grade at Hazzard High School. David was my first true love and hopefully my only. We met back in the third grade at a pie eating competition at the local community center. I had taken home the second place medal whereas him, the first. Our relationship progressed from childhood playmates, to high school lovers. Everyone considered us to be the high school sweeties.

David was an amazing person. He was one of the smartest, brightest students at Hazzard High. He had a well rounded persona which made him all that easier to love. His smile was full of happiness and could light up anyone’s day better than the sun could. He was a strong type of guy who always gave his heart and mind to anything he set out to accomplish. David had a charming face and an outstanding body. His dark green eyes matched his perfectly chestnut brown hair. He was every girl’s dream man.

To this day, I haven’t a single clue why he chose me in the first place. I had fairly light brown hair with emerald green eyes. Being a rather petite girl, I wasn’t sure how I came to look tall but it’s probably due to my fully developed complexions. Throughout my high school life, I had dorky glasses making me not legible for being a popular girl if you know what I mean.

David and I have always had a strong connection. We knew each other’s feelings before it was said. He knew me inside out and I told him even more than I told my girlfriends. He was very easy to trust and he never broke that. I admit it. When I was younger, I dad have many fantasies about David and I being together. I dreamed that one day, I would become his princess and he would be my prince. Oh and of course, we would live happily ever after.

David was a very deep person. Everything he said had more meaning than you could ever imagine. I remember his first gift for me. It was a silver box. It wasn’t just an ordinary box though. He told me that whenever he wasn’t there, and I needed someone to talk to, I could just open the box, say everything that’s on my mind into it, close it, and he would be able to hear it. It was my most precious gift.
David always had a whole crowd of girls surrounding him wherever he went. He attracted them faster than he could get rid of them. I know his heart was mine and I was in no fear of losing that. That was, until the year of 2003.

That was the year that my life turned from being the best, to upside down. I had never experienced pain like I did that year. August 8, 2003. It was a bright sunny day. I remember every little detail as if it was tattooed into my brain. That day I had worn my white shorts and blue tank top and walked to the park where David asked me to meet him. It was almost seven o’clock by ten but not even a bit cold outside. Every time I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. There he was, in jeans no matter how hot or cold the weather. He was just standing there, yet I knew something was wrong. The expression on his face scared me. When I reached him, he gave me a quick and urgent kiss. Then he said the four words I never hoped to hear.
“We need to talk.” He said with a serious face.

My heart raced like crazy and I started to shake. I was scared; terrified of what he would tell me.
“OK…” I said with a shaky voice. He took my hand and led me to the grass. We sat down and he looked me straight in the eye. I couldn’t dare to look back-- afraid of what I would see so I merely looked down to the grass.

“Fiona,” he said, “I have something to tell you. You might be upset with me but let me finish what I have to say before you come to conclusions. Last week, at a friend’s party, I met this girl. Her name is Ann.” He took a deep breath and all I could do was cry, silently. “After the party, I got to know her more and I’m in love with her. I know this is all so unfair to you but hey, sometimes, things happen that I can’t control.”

I finally gathered the strength to look into his eyes. I put on a fake smile and asked him, “Are you happy with her?” What a stupid question I thought but that was all my brain could come up with.
“Yes I am,” he replied, “It’s not that being with you doesn’t make me happy or anything but when I’m with Ann, it’s like a whole different world. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes I do…” I said with a heavy heart. “I understand.” On the outside, I was happy, smiling even. But on the inside, I was hurting. When he had said those four words, it felt as if he took my heart and ripped it to pieces in front of my face. With each word, the pain felt like a thousand knives stabbing at the remnants of my heart. “Promise me something okay? Promise me that you’ll completely forget about me, okay?”

“Fiona... I can’t...”
“Please? It would make me happy and it’s my final wish...”
“Okay then... I promise you. You’ll always be my best friend. Good bye.” He gave me one brief kiss on the check and walked away…
I sat on the grass, my heart heavy, my eyes swollen with tears. The world as I had known it has ceased to exist. I will never again know what it is like to laugh with my childish abandon because my childhood is behind me. Pain and sorrow will be my constant companions how that the love of my life is gone. I raised my eyes to watch him walk away forever into the crimson sunset.

I don’t know how long I sat there. It could have been hours, or maybe just minutes. I wasn’t in a hurry to get home. I knew no one would be looking for me there. I couldn’t think. The next few months were a blur. I had dropped out of school, abandoned my friends, stopped eating, and ceased all communication to anyone. Day after day I sat there, filled with pain. It was unbearable the pain. I cried myself to sleep each night, thinking about David and what used to be. I thought about all the kisses, hugs, laughter, and happiness that we shared. I continuously wonder what I did wrong to make this wonderful love slip away.

----------------- January-----------------

-----------------February-----------------

-----------------March-----------------

-----------------April-----------------

-----------------May-----------------

Before I knew it, summer 2004 had arrived. It’s been a year since he left me yet I still haven’t gotten over it. David and Ann were doing great. They were practically married now—unofficially I hope. I could tell that David was truly happy with her and he loved her deeply. The way that she made him happy, it drove me crazy. Sometimes I wished that he would be unhappy. I wish that he would become fed up with her and come to me instead. I was selfish and wanted everything that she has now; what should have been mine.

I would occasionally bump into David and Ann from time to time. Every time, they were mislead by the way I seemed on the outside. No one knew me anymore. I had completely changed. I didn’t mind what people thought about me or how they looked down on me. No one could possible understand how I was feeling. People told me that if I prayed everything would be okay. I’ve said the words. Yet nothing has happened. The world is a field of never ending pain. The pain was a constant thing stabbing at my back, creeping to me one way or another.

Almost every night, unconsciously, I would take out my silver box. I never opened it though. I was afraid of what would happen to me if I was introduced to his words once again. I clutched it close to my heart, or where it used to be, and just cried. If you collected my tears this past year, it would be enough to flood all of North America. I was I was exaggerating, but sadly, I’m not. I don’t understand how I can still have rears to cry. Sometimes at night, I feel David sitting beside me... but that only made it all the worse. The worse way to miss someone is when you’re right beside them, wanting to reach out and touch them, but you know you can’t have them.

. . .
April 15, 2008. The day that I decided to die. I just couldn’t take it any longer. My life had no meaning now that David was gone. I saw no reason to continue living. No one would care nor notice if I died... oh well... I’ve decided that August 8, 2008 would be the right date.
Time crept by slowly, the hands of time hauntingly counting down the days of my life. Tick tock, tick tock. The months passed. May. June. July. Just one more month of pain, I thought. Then, it would all be over. I could finally be in a pain-free environment. What a happy thought that is, knowing that I can finally smile. I would miss him. I knew I would. But at least I know that I could watch him from above and smile at his successes and happiness in life.

July passed with the usual pain and tears. I knew I was running out of time. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell David. I could not be so selfish and ruin his happy life with Ann. I see him everyday yet not once did he see me. I’ve memorized his schedules and followed him around just so I could see him more often. Why did I do that…? All that brought me was more pain and sorrow. But why? Why did I have to be so dumb? I guess it’s because I still haven’t let go of the love we used to have. I still love him more than anything in the world. No matter how he treated me. I know that somewhere, deep down, he loves me too…

August 1, 2008. I could feel it. My time on earth was coming to an end. Today I watched with tears as David and Ann walked hand-in-hand to church. I should really be happy for him because he found the true love of his life. But somehow, after all these years, I couldn’t bring myself to smile for you. No one, but me, knew how I truly felt. I hated Ann for stealing him away. I hated what he did to me. I hated the fact that he chose her instead of me. I was angry. Very angry. But what would that do? It didn’t affect him at all…

August 7, 2008. Tomorrow I would finally die. The date of my death had to be August 8. Just six years ago, on the very same day, David had asked me to be his. And it was just five years ago when he broke my heart. Everything happened on August 8th and so would my death. Earlier today, I consumed a large quantity of pills. I slowly waited for my life to end. I sat on the bed that evening, finishing this story. I suddenly felt really tired and I knew I only had hours left. I sat for a while, memories running in and out of my head. I thought about the happy year that I spent with David and the smiles on our faces. Our first kiss…hug… -everything. Automatically, I take out my silver box one last day. One by one, I recited every word of all his letters with tears in my eyes. I clutched them tightly to my heart, hoping the he’ll remember me even after today. His words filled my head until I could think of nothing else. I cried long that night, and I knew there was one last thing I had to do. Impulsively, I reached for my phone and dialled his number. He picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?” his loud voice boomed.
“I need to see you…” I said in the tiniest voice and hung up.
I wasn’t sure if he’d make it in time. 11:30 PM read the clock. Only 21 minutes before my time was up.

I heard a loud bang on my door followed by loud footsteps up to my room. As handsome as ever, David walked in. He rushed to my said and asked me what was wrong in a panicky voice.

“Hey David. I can’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve last spoken to each other. Don’t worry. Nothing’s wrong,” I lied, “I have something to tell you but please stay calm. In 16 minutes, I am leaving, forever. I just needed to see you once last time before it was too late. That’s the reason why I called you here.” I touched his face. It was wet with tears. Somehow, he understood what I was talking about.

“NO!” he yelled. “YOU’RE NOT LEAVING TO ANYWHERE. YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME HERE. REMEMBER WHAT YOU PROMISED ME?”
I put on a faint smile and took his hand in mine. “Just like how you promised me forever and always?” I chuckled. “Anyways, after I leave, I want you to read this story and this letter and you’ll understand everything.” I said pointing to the diary. “Thank you for coming to see me one last time before I leave. I was so scared I would die alone. Ever since we broke up 5 years ago, no one has ever told me they loved me. No one said I was important. No one cared about me. But that’s okay... When I lost you, life lost all its meaning. I’m not loved, not cared for, and not important to anyone. I took so much effort to keep my heart going. I can’t do it any longer. I’m so sorry that I have to break my promise.” Tears of pain came rolling out of my eyes. “Don’t cry David. I want you to be happy with me for the last moments of my life. Oh how good it feels to finally smile and be happy.” I flashed him a weak smile. Although in tears, I felt happier than ever.

“Fiona, I love you…” I heard the pain in his voice as he choked the words out.

“Haha, I know you don’t mean it. You’re just saying that to make me feel better about my life. Even so, I want to thank you because that meant a lot to me. Now I can die knowing that my last wish came true. I can go now with a smile on my face because I know that at least one person on this earth loves me. Thank you.” I knew I only had 20 seconds left. I took my last and final breath and one last tear came out. “I love you David. Good-bye.” My eyes shut, never to be opened again. And just like that, I left, with David by my side.
“I love you too… I truly do…” he whispered but it was already too late. I had already left earth. “NO!!!” he screamed, unable to accept everything that just happened.

. . .
I just lay there, beside the body of Fiona for a while, crying to myself. I read her story. Her letter went like this:

Dear David,
You are probably the last person I will talk to before I’ve decided to kill myself since like meant nothing more. I’m very sorry for breaking my promises. There’s a lot that happened to me that you don’t know about. I didn’t want to ruin your perfect life with Ann. Ever since that day at the park, 5 years ago, my life had turned into a living hell. As you told me that you wanted to leave me, I was in so much pain. There are no words to explain the way I was feeling. It was pain like no other. Every breath I took hurt because I knew you would never be mine. I left everything happy about my life and isolated myself from everyone else. I was in a deep depression. I had no one to talk to.

No one to share my feelings with. So that was how I lived the past 5 years-- without a heart. I had only one reason to keep my heart beating: I still loved you. But it hurts too much. I can’t do it any longer... There wasn’t one day that I lived without sadness. I would seriously give anything and everything to feel loved like I did, 6 years ago, just for a day. I would give anything in the world to be the Ann in your life. I would lay in my bed every night, crying to myself. I would often fantasize about what our future together could have been-- how happy we should have been. Nothing killed me more than seeing you with Ann. But if you think that you belong with her, then promise me you won’t let anyone hurt you. When you walked away that day, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but all I wanted was to set your heart free. When you left that day, you took my heart with you, and a huge part of me died. There’s so much pain in my chest, blacking out, heart attack. Life is hard; death is easier. I’ve always wondered what afterlife would be like. I guess I can find out soon. I hope you live a long and happy life before joining me.

I guess I’ve finally learned to forgive you for what you did and I learned to live with the fact that you didn’t choose me. I don’t blame you for anything. If you’re wondering why I kept everything that was inside that silver box, I can tell you. I kept it all because every time I saw it, every time I read it, I feel a little bit happier. I kept it because it was the only part of you that was still mine. It was the only thing I had left of you. It reminded me that true love does exist in this world. David, I just want to let you know that I don’t mind dying here and right now. I’ve lived life to the best of my ability. I have none but one regret: letting you go... So I had to pretend that I wasn’t going to miss you; and had to pretend that this is what I wanted to do.

Haha, funny thing is though, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have this happy ending... oh well... I just have to take what live gave me. I’m so sorry David for making you read this... you shouldn’t have to suffer with me. I was so scared that I’d die alone...with no one to share this with... David, thank-you for showing me what true love means. And as long as you’re happy, I’ll be okay. Can you please take this silver box and treasure it for me and to finish my story. Thank-you! My time is almost up so I might as well finish this letter. As for my will, I would like to have my heart separated from the rest of my body and cremated separately. I would like the ashes of my heart to go to you and the rest disposed of nicely. That way you’ll know that my broken, fragile heart never stopped and never will stop loving you. Take care of my heart David... From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and Ann a happy, tear-free life! Remember to keep on smiling!
Love,
Ann

P.S. I love you David. I always have and I always will.
It killed me to see how much pain I had brought her yet I had never realized it. What an idiot, I thought to myself. How could I have left her like that? I cried and wished that we hadn’t left. I wish that I didn’t leave her. She never broke her promise. She never stopped loving me. But what have I done? I broke her heart. I smashed her whole world into a billion pieces. Then I saw her silver box. It touched me so much to see how she never gave up loving me. I wish I had done the same for her too. I knew she was still there. I could still sense her presence. I knew that no matter where she was physically, she will always live forever in my heart—where she belongs. I knew that as long as I live, there would NOT be a day where I don’t regret leaving her. I’ve made a decision to leave Ann. Fiona never stopped loving me and I won’t stop loving her. I love her more than anything in this world. People say you only fall in love, really in love, once in a life time. So once you’ve found true love, NEVER let go.

P.S. There is no ending to this story. Fairytales are all wrong when they say “And they lived happily ever after’. True love never has an ending... 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Let Me Love You



Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hard work and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...
"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore. He had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious paper cranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Fate Brought Us Together



One weekend I was home alone and I was feeling down because I just had a fight with my first son's father. When my best friend called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out with her to a dance club. Not really wanting to go, I accepted the invitation anyway and told her the only way we would go is if we take the initiative at the dance club and take the men out to dance. Well to my surprise we go to the dance club and as we are walking to the back of the dance club, I spotted a tall handsome man dancing. I just knew it in my heart that he was the one for me. My best friend at the time notices that I was eyeing him, she goes in front of his friend and starts dancing with him so the guy that I had my eye on turns around and we started to dance. When we were finished dancing we talked for awhile and exchanged numbers. That same night he called me and we spoke to each other until dawn. There was only one catch to this man. He lived in Virginia and I lived in NY. After speaking with him some more on the phone, he met me at my house before he left to Virginia and as we spent the day together, I started falling in love with him. He decided to stay in NY and spend a whole week with me. We fell in love and I moved to Virginia. Now we are happily married for 4 years and have one child together and raising my first son together. Fate brought us together !!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Beautiful Rose That Has Withered Away


She was sitting there. in the front row of the classroom.. She was the hyperactive chatty gal that I would love to loathe...

At first sight, there was simply nothing extraordinary about her. I was annoyed at her seemingly uncontrollable mischievous personality. But then again, I looked beyond that and recognized her warm and mature personality... And that her large brown eyes enthralled me....Captivating me with her sweet and jovial smile...

I fell in love with her........

There was only one thing I can... and must... do... I gotta let her know how I feel.. I did, and that's the start of a wonderful, forever lasting love... or at least that's what I thought.

Those were the happiest times of my life. I would call her numerous times a day..... Life for me was heavenly. I had always dreamt of loving my other significant half to the max, even when I was a young child. This was a dream come true for me. She was almost the perfect girl I had dreamt about before. She loved me as much as I love her (I still do...). I would embrace her tightly to feel her warmth and kiss softly on her forehead. I long to be with her forever. Words alone could not describe the blissful times I had with her. Her distinctive voice would just banish my blues away. We never squabbled before. Life is truly a heaven to experience such a true love. For me, true love is always 0.1% lust, 0.9% attraction and 99.0% appreciation. I had always appreciated her and so did she.

Those times went on for 2 years. But then, the inevitable happened. She became aloof, unresponsive and her cheerful disposition had diminished. "What happened to her"? I asked myself...Gradually, she lessen her phone calls to me. I tried coaxing her to talk to me but to no avail. Then, after weeks of coaxing, she finally told me that she had changed (she didn't know why, it just came all of a sudden). She told me that our characters do not match and sad to say that we should not continue the relationship. She implied that I'm a person who does not care much about the world around me (which is quite true as I don't trust friends and I'm quite a loner) She also said that there are small little things that also add up to her unhappiness. I was devastated... I didn't know that she felt that way all this time... Well, I knew about my weaknesses but I thought that she accepted them. I cried and pleaded her to stay on with me but to no avail as it was only the most sensible thing for a matured person (such as herself) to do. She said that its better for us to separate rather than go deeper into an unhappy relationship than is doomed to failure (which is, sad to say, true). I am still in a deep depressed state. Its been 4 months since she broke up with me...

How I hope to be with her again. Its actually not her fault. She was doing the only sensible thing (to break up before we go any deeper). Sometimes, I feel like life's fragile.....

A beautiful thing like love can be ended abruptly Feels like a precious thing had been taken away from me...

Just like a beautiful rose that withered away....

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Bodyguard(2011) Sallu bhai's Movie Review



Power, but no Punch
Bodyguard
Director: Siddique
Starring: Salman Khan n Bebo
Rating:   






There are three movies struggling to emerge from Salman Khan'sPopeye-like biceps. A cheeky, live-my-life movie where a bodyguard who travels by local train gets to share space with a princess who lives in a palace in the fictional Jaisinghpur. A sexy, physical romance where Khan's pectorals are in conversation with Kareena Kapoor's aesthetically curved belly, bared in a sari that stays up through sheer will power. And a social drama which pits a feudal sarkar-raj mindset with a modern urge to choose love.

Unfortunately all three sub plots are crushed under the mighty weight of the Khan star machine. It is relentless. Khan invents dance steps which will no doubt be immediately cloned in wedding parties across India, flexing his biceps and twisting his calves. He finds everyday elements to beat his opponents, from tree trunks to shovels, and doesn't think twice about using the latter as a back-scratching device. He also makes jokes in rhyme (I'm not a fool/You think I'm in nursery school?). When a local train is going in the wrong direction, he simply flies through the air using cables to get to his destination.
Anyone who has watched Khan's recent movies will recognise the signs -- a killer dialogue which will be remembered till the next blockbuster is manufactured, a signature ring tone, and a pre-fight ritual-in this case, it is taking off his watch. The familiarity is somewhat comforting. The fort where the climactic action scene is staged, with Aditya Pancholi as a worthy opponent, has appeared in Wanted. The shirt flying off and revealing Khan's taut torso is achieved with a jet of water and not wind as in Dabbangg, though the effect is the same. And Khan, as bodyguard Lovely Singh, is as enterprising with his fights asReady's Prem.
The viewer is not enthralled but bhaijaan has done the best that his comic strip straitjacket could allow him. It helps that Kareena Kapoor doesn't break into giggles when he plays the tentative lover.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Man Are From Mars, Women From Venus


A man will pay two-dollars for a one-dollar item he needs, but a woman will pay one-dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about her future until she finds a husband, but a man never worries about the future until he takes a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend, but a successful woman is one who can find such a man!!! :P

Saturday, August 27, 2011

What is LOVE?


In France...


LOVE is a Comedy


In Germany...


LOVE is a Drama


In England...


LOVE is a Tragedy


But
In India
.
.
.


LOVE is a National Game, Everyone plays it.. :D

Thursday, August 25, 2011

When Fantasy Becomes Reality



My love start in Facebook, I’m sure many of you didn’t think that cyber love can become reality right? Well my LOVE actually does come true and it all starts in Facebook.

When he adds me as a friend in Facebook, I think “Who is this guy?” then I approved him, not knowing who he was. I start to look at his wall and his pictures. I smile alone and I don’t know what the reason was. Then one day he tagged me in one of his picture. It was Bak Kut Teh, a Chinese medicated soup. I thought, “Why is he tagging me?” Then I ignore the thought, thinking that it is just tagging, nothing special. We start commenting on his friend’s wall and we chat. Things go on as usual, as he did not online often.

One day during my revision on BSE (Breast Self Examination), I tag the male breast cancer to him and other friends, and we started commenting. His friend is my son in virtual life (Facebook only), then in one of his comment, he said can I be the Daddy as I said that my virtual son does not have a virtual Daddy, then I said “yeah sure”, but my virtual son said he wants another dad. Funny comments I thought, smiling to myself.

During father’s day, I send him message saying happy father’s day. I think it is cute (smile), and in June 30 he give me his phone number and we start text messaging, it was fun texting with him, I feel happy and feel I want to spend more time with him. As times goes by, we text messaging and calling only, that’s our routine (LOL). He wants to see me before he leave but I got class on that day. He said he wants to take care of me, he wants to be my Boyfriend but I ask him time before I decided and he agreed.

2138 at 8th July 2010. I finally make my decision, I agreed to be his girlfriend and he was really happy, although we never met each other before but my soul telling me that he is the one. Our relationship runs smoothly, my friend said “Aren’t you afraid that the love you shared with him will vanish tomorrow (11th Dec 2010)” I’m afraid that her words will come true but my feelings strengthen my heart and I pray so that everything will be fine and our love will remain the same when we meet at 11th Dec 2010. Yeah it’s true when I meet him, my heart pounding fast although I never meet him before my heart could tell to whom they belongs. I am so happy until now our relationship grew stronger and stronger although distance kept us apart but our Love remains.

 

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Holiday Love Story


Two years ago as I hung the ornaments on my tree and put my ceramic Baby Jesus in the manger, I had more than the holidays on my mind. A diamond ring sparkled on my left hand. After years of teaching me contentment and comfortable singleness, God had led me to say yes to Bill Page – a godly man who was an old friend, a widower, and a pastor. On December 30, 2001, Bill and I married. So this month I want to share with you a love story – but not the one you think.

When my first husband died 16 years ago, many people quoted Psalm 68:5 and Isaiah 54:5 and tried to comfort me by saying, “God will be your husband.” It didn’t work.

I repeatedly told the Lord, “I want You to be my God. I don’t want you to be my spouse. I want a flesh-and-blood husband.” God did not get mad or withdraw. He stayed close and waited.

As my grief lessened and my single parenting intensified, I turned to the Lord as never before – as I had turned to my husband before he died. And God’s Spirit responded, speaking comfort and giving direction. I experienced the reality of having a divine partner. As the years went by, I took for granted the intimacy I shared with God. I didn’t analyze it or think about it; I just lived it. But this year was different.

I had been remarried for three months when my first awareness of the change came. Praying as I drove to my teaching job, I sensed an indefinable change. God was still there. He was listening, and He loved me. But earlier that morning, I had talked with Bill about many of the things I was now praying about. The “no other one” intimacy with God I had as a single woman was now filled by my flesh-and-blood husband.

When I figured out the difference, my prayer changed to thanksgiving for the privilege of experiencing God in a unique way because of my needs as a single woman.

Two months later, however, I wasn’t so thankful. I was preparing to speak at my first women’s retreat since getting married, and I felt afraid. Would no longer having my single-life neediness for God affect the depth of my speaking? After wrestling with my thoughts for a couple of weeks, I burst into tears one night. Bill asked what was wrong, and I did my best to explain. He had been a widower for a couple of years, so he had a sense of what I meant; and he realized that my additional 13 years of being alone had left a strong reality of a divine presence.

It helped to be understood, but his next comment helped me even more:
“You know how you’re going to speak on the topic of ‘New Every Morning’ from Lamentations 3? Well, God is allowing you to live that now. You’re experiencing Him in a new, married way.”

My husband’s words changed my fretting to thinking. As a single person, the same Holy Spirit who so often had spoken directly to me, now often spoke through my husband. I thought back to the mornings I’d talked to Bill about my retreat topics and content. Each time, he’d made comments that helped me focus my sharing. God was just as near and helpful, but now He had another way to help and direct me – through my husband.

The retreat was great, and my positive attitude toward my husband even rubbed off on many of the ladies; and they, too, began speaking well of their mates. It was a new addition to the results God produced when I spoke.

Every single person has an incredible opportunity to find God in a unique, intimate way. So when you decorate your tree and wrap gifts this holiday season, take a moment to thank the Lord for His Emanuel – the God-with-us child born 2,000 years ago – and realize that your love story with Him is the greatest one ever told.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Adam And Eve Story


After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys
asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Delivering My Baby



A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. "Congratulations," said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough?" The woman replied, "Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year."

Monday, August 15, 2011

The Guilty Wife



The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee.

The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact" about the whole thing all during the trial.


"Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morning where you felt pity for your husband ?"


"Well... yeah... I guess..." she replied.


"And when was that?" pressed the attorney.


"Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Love Affair



Mrs. Gobhi was almost in tears. "Oh Palak," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

" I don't believe it for one minute !" Palak snapped. "You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Why Brides Wear White?



A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're happy, dear."

Halfway through the wedding the girl whispered, "Mommy, if brides wear white because they're happy, then why do men wear black?"

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My Love My Soul..


Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over....I remember the first day when i saw him in class. He was wearing white shirt and black pant. I just looked at him and was impressed by his personality....... days passed........... and just a hello hi sort of conversation continued. In November he sent me an SMS. I messaged him and asked " who are you". He called me and informed. Then we used to send forwarded messages to each other. Sometimes he used to comment on those messages and i felt very nice. One day he added me on orkut. Daily i used to look at his pics for hours. I dont know why i used to look but i felt something for him. Then we started chatting and there was a sort of excitement. We even started talking on phones. The whole day i used to wait for the night so that we can chat. we became friends but my feelings for him grew more and more as the time passed. Then one evening he called and asked "can we meet?" . It was an unexpected surprise for me which changed my whole life. I said yes!!!!!!!!!! and we met at lake. It was cold out there. He came running..........my heart started beating at full speed. We started walking ...........he was a bit fast. I wanted to tel him to be lil slow but i didnt. I became speechless. I wanted to look into his eyes but i looked here and there...............infact on everthing except him. We came back to parking area and he sat on my kinetic ................and i sat behind him and took a small round of that area. That was toooooooooo romantic but i was pretending to be normal. We went back to our homes ............And i recalled every moment spent together again and again. We met again at lake. He was with his friend. We ate petty and my hands started shivering though i was warm enough....... he jumped and told his friend...........i felt shy as if i did something wrong. His friend went and we both sat.......lake never seemed to me so beautiful as i felt at that time. We both were sitting closely..... I wanted to say You are what I never knew I always wanted........ Next time we went in a garden. He had to go back home also but he was not in a hurry. He asked me suddenly " What is going on between us". I became confused ......smiled and didnt gave any reply. He asked me again and again but i was silent. I couldnt sleep at night..........! I was in love! After he came back from his home, we met again in a garden. It was dark all around ....... He said that nothing can happen. All my hopes were shattered. I came back home and cried a lot. I felt as if i am worthless.............not good for anything. Every time i used to open my orkut account i could see him. So i decided to delete him so that i can forget him. He used to message me n i used to reply. I always felt nice whenever he used to send me a message. I again added him on orkut and said sorry with the add request. He called me on new year and said we will meet when he comes back. I again started thinking about him........we met.......on 26th January at his residence. We played all sorts of games. Then suddenly he said " what if i kiss you?" . I became numb........ I said " i know you will not do". He remained very busy with his office work so i never forced him to meet me frequently. We met on 10th feb (his birthday) for five minutes. It was drizzling. I didnt wanted to say bye but i had to........ We met again in March on Holi. That was the turning point of our relationship........where our eyes said everything to each other. The most eloquent silence.........where only love existed. We met again and again and came more close..............more...................more n more. Actually, there is no remedy for love but to love more. Whenever I meet him.... I feel the same charm as I felt on the first day. I want to be with him forever n ever n ever............! Amen!     

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

If You Love Her Enough...


My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.

Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.

Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."

Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.

He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

"Forgave me a lot."

"Stood by my side."

And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."

The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me where she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."            
   

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Living A Lie...



I've always known that I was differeThe Helpnt from other boys. It started at a young age perhaps at age 6.
The Help
I've always been told that I was different to other boys but these
comments came across as more of a criticism rather than an
acknowledgment. From a young age I was in love with barbies and dress up in womens' clothing. I simply love all feminine things-anything I see as pretty I latched onto it.

I remember seeing hot guys in music videos in the late 80s but I never assumed or thought of myself as gay...just different I guess.

In 1997 I found myself having these attractions to males which was
confusing because previously I had loved girls, they were the gender
that turned me on...now this sudden change, I didn’t know what to make out of all this. I felt a range of emotions; anger, disgust, self
loathing, confusion and I felt scared and lost. I wanted to tell someone but I was too young back then.

I thought I was being "naughty" in having these attractions. It wasn’t so much in the attraction, but it was what I was attracted to that was the problem. I felt scared of people hating me, treating me differently and perhaps not being nice to me anymore if I told them I was gay.

My self loathing went on for 3 yrs until in 2000 I felt tired of hating
and beating myself over something that I had no control over so I just accepted that I was gay. Then in 2002 I came out to my parents and told them the sad news. They refused to believe it. They thought I was trying to get more attention out of them .

Later they reckon I was confused, or that I read too much books and that it has brainwashed me. But when after all the yelling and tears and dramas in the house, they finally believed me but my father said I had to be straight or he'll disown me and that I'll be kicked out.

I have no choice. I was still going to school, and I had no money to
rent a room so to speak so I just agreed to be straight-a lie of course but what can I do?

I have no job , not enough friends let alone have any money so I needed to lie just so that I can have a ongoing roof above my head.

Maybe I'll move out one day once I have a job. But for now I’m eating food in his house, living in his home, so I'll have to obey his rules. Sad but true. That's the beauty of life. (lols!) 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Love In A Paper Bag



It was Molly's job to hand her father his brown paper lunch bag each morning before he headed off to work. One morning, in addition to his usual lunch bag, Molly handed him a second paper bag. This one was worn and held together with duct tape, staples, and paper clips.

"Why two bags?" her father asked.

"The other is something else," Molly answered.

"What's in it?"

"Just some stuff. Take it with you."

Not wanting to hold court over the matter, he stuffed both sacks into his briefcase, kissed Molly and rushed off. At midday, while hurriedly scarfing down his real lunch, he tore open Molly's bag and shook out the contents: two hair ribbons, three small stones,
a plastic dinosaur, a pencil stub, a tiny sea shell, two animal crackers, a marble, a used lipstick, a small doll, two chocolate kisses, and 13 pennies.

The busy father smiled, finished eating, and swept the desk clean into the wastebasket- leftover lunch, Molly's junk and all.

That evening, Molly ran up behind him as he read the paper.

"Where's my bag?"

"What bag?"

"You know, the one I gave you this morning."

"I left it at the office. Why?"

"I forgot to put this note in it," she said. "And, besides, those are my things in the sack, Daddy, the ones I really like - I thought you might like to play with them, but now I want them back. You didn't lose the bag, did you, Daddy?"

"Oh, no," he said, lying. "I just forgot to bring it home. I'll bring it tomorrow."

While Molly hugged her father's neck, he unfolded the note that had not made it into the sack: "I love you, Daddy."

Molly had given him her treasures. All that a 7-year-old held dear. Love in a paper bag, and he missed it - not only missed it, but had thrown it in the wastebasket. So back he went to the office. Just ahead of the night janitor, he picked up the wastebasket and poured the contents on his desk.

After washing the mustard off the dinosaurs and spraying the whole thing with breath-freshener to kill the smell of onions, he carefully smoothed out the wadded ball of brown paper, put the treasures inside and carried it home gingerly, like an injured kitten. The bag didn't look so good, but the stuff was all there and that's what counted.

After dinner, he asked Molly to tell him about the stuff in the sack. It took a long time to tell. Everything had a story or a memory or was attached to dreams and imaginary friends. Fairies had brought some of the things.

He'd given her the chocolate kisses; she'd kept them for when she needed them. "Sometimes I think of all the times in this sweet life," he mused, "when I must have missed the affection I was being given. A friend calls this 'standing knee deep in the river and dying of thirst."

We should all remember that it's not the destination that counts in life, but the JOURNEY. That journey with the people we love is all that really matters. Such a simple truth so easily forgotten.