One More Time, One More Chance...

I'm a man of a few words. I really detest speaking and most of the time, I like to be alone. Betrayed by   all my past relationships, asking me to love someone again seems so down right impossible. Yet, she persistently approached me. She knew I love to hang out in the library to read books about astronomy. Without fail, she appears everyday to bug me, and no matter where I hide in the library, she always seem to be able to catch me. She persistently tried to open a conversation, and I will just shun her off without fail. This continues for several months - till the day I get annoyed and decides to confront her.
On that fateful day, as I predicted, she approached me at the library again. I grab her and push her to the wall, "Listen girl. I won't hesitate to eat you up if you insist on offering your perfect body to me." I threatened. "Then do it." She retorted. Always wanted to be a chivalrous knight, I followed a strict code of chivalry and honor. She knew she hit my blind spot when I dare not make any advances on her. "Happy Birthday, Gary."
I stared at her with a bewildered look. I took a look at my watch. It's my birthday. She remembers it even when I don't remember. She smile at me and without a word, I was dragged all the way out of the library and into a white Toyota. "David, if you please, to East Coast Park." She said. "Understood." Replied the driver dressed in a simple T-shirt and a black pants. I was too engross in thinking who is this rich pretty girl, thinking about how she knew so much about me, that I pay no heed to the both of them throughout the trip. We arrived at the park and the driver left us there. "Here! Your birthday present! Look up!" She pulled me to a spot and point towards the sky. When I look up, I see the skies blanketed with stars I never thought could be seen in Singapore. "My name's Joan. And once again, Happy Birthday, Gary!" I don't know... That day, I open up to her and started talking to her.
We gradually grew closer and closer to each other as day passes. She's always there for me when I needed someone to talk to. She's a daddy's girl. Her dad gets her what she wants, though she never did ask for anything. I even met her parents during our first official 'date'. The first date was a utter failure, which even resulted in a police case. This unfortunate incident, I will not disclose it, but it's because of this incident, I began to understand what led to my actions that night when I carried an unconscious Joan home. Not because I wanted to protect the weak. It's like, I wanted to protect Joan, even if it cost my life. That's how I feel. Ever since then, every time I see her, my heart will start to beat faster. And I get nervous when I talk to her. I dismiss those feelings as just simply infatuation and told myself that I wont get cheated a second time. I'm really sick of being cheated by the girl I love over, and over again.
When I tried to distance myself away from her, I locked myself in my home. I do not want to go to school, I do not want to go out. I do not wish to see her. And well... I fell ill shortly afterwards. My mom and dad do not have the time to take care of me as they need to work, and being from a family with below average income, I don't rely on medication to recover from fever. I thought about it for a moment and decided to go to school per normal despite this fever going on. In the end, I got permission to leave the school early because the fever is really affecting me. I traveled all the way home and yeah, after closing the doors, I collapsed onto the ground.
A sweet smelling fragrant woke up, and I found myself resting on my bed with an ice-bag on my forehead. I struggled out of my room and I saw a familiar pair of pink shoes on the shoe rack. I proceed to the kitchen and to my disbelief, there she is, cooking. I caught her attention when I fall on my knees due to fatigue. "Hey! You're suppose to rest! You're having such a high fever so don't you dare move! I'll help you to the bed." That said, Joan supported me all the way back to the bed. "Hey... How did you get into my house..?" I questioned. She gave me a smirk and answered "David is so all-knowing. So i figured he knew how to pick-lock and I got him to teach me!".
"I've prepared some rice gruel for you. Don't worry about anything ok? Shut that mind of your's for God's sake if there is any! You're thinking too much at the wrong place, at the wrong time! I'm here to take care of you and you ain't going to chase me away you hear!?" She lectured. I simply nodded as she quickly goes back to the kitchen and back again with the food. "I'm feeding you, so open your mouth!" That said, I do as ordered. My heart feels pink. I feel like crying for trying to distant myself from her, yet she still came back for me and even took care of me when I'm sick. That day, I fallen in love again. With Joan.
We became a couple. Doing everything a couple does except for you-know-what. But this relationship hits a wall when her dad found out about it and strictly refuses Joan from dating me because of my social status - I'm a poor guy and she's a rich girl. Her dad's a traditional man, but her mom had already accepted me. He had already prepared a match-making session for her. When she knows of it, she quarreled with her dad. Her dad ain't letting up, and she is getting desperate. There are times when she ran away from home, there are times when she starts doing foolish things that bring harm to herself. It was a very depressing time in our relationship. During this time, I'm always with her. To calm her down, to be with her, and to protect her. Her dad finally decides to let up, and we thought this became our happy ending.
No. It was not. Two months after...
Her dad decided that the entire family should migrate to Switzerland. Upon hearing that, Joan cried. Day after day, she cried. Even when I'm with her and even when I tried comforting her, she cried on and on. I'm getting desperate once more. I approach her dad to try to talk things out. But to no avail. I spend my entire time to her during her remaining days left here in Singapore. I even slept at her house. I wanted her to stay with me, but I hesitated. When I woke up on the day of her flight, I saw a note left on the bed we slept. Written on it was the time of the flight and a farewell note to me.
One more time... I wanted to see her... I wanted to tell her to stay with me.
One more chance... I pray to whoever's up there watching this episode of my life.
I hurried to the airport but she was not there. I really wanted to tell her to stay with me. I will do anything and everything just to make her stay! I hurried to the customer service and they told me that their flight departed just an hour ago. I cried. I cried and cried. I soon fell into a depression and my grades in school took a heavy blow. She was my life. She was my everything. Yet, Joan refused me one last time to say what I want, and she refused me one last chance to say goodbye.
It's been a few years now. I have a girlfriend and we both love each other very much. Don't get me wrong. I just wanted to share this story on how a perfect relationship is ruined because of our social status. I have gotten over it. So please, people out there who is reading this... If you ever get into such a situation, don't hesitate. Hesitate like I do, and the sands of time will swallow up your Love.......

tHe s@Lty cOffeee..

He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.


Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.


"A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought. Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It's hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. 


If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again." 


Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: What's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.

I h@te YoU, bUt I lOvE yOu : Part-II

  I hate that you have become a different person

I hate that I sit here and think if I should stay

I hate that you put that on me

But I love you!

I hate that you screwed me once

I hate that you screwed me twice

I hate that I am the one hurting for what you did

But I love you!

I hate that I've cried myself to sleep every night

I hate that all I do is think about you

I hate that I would take you back in a heart beat if you let me

But I love you!

I hate so much about you, but I love you. I think I'm still in love with who you used to be 

and 

have hope that one day that wonderful girl might come back. I hate that I'm still here with 

you wondering if I'll get you back or if I'll just have to suck it up and deal with the way I 

feel forever. 

I feel as though the person I once knew and loved is no longer there inside, its just there 

presence in front of me that I still love. I wish i knew what to do. My heart is torn in two 

directions. Once says stay because your love for her will never go and the other says 

leave and heal and love will find you again. 

I hate you! But I really do Love You!

MY OWN DEFINITION OF LOVE

They say love is letting go. 

Love is the feeling you have never felt before. 

Love is caring and love is happiness.

BUT for me,

 Love is when you never give up showering the one you love with your love even though he doesn't love you back.

 I’ve been hurt for 4 times, sometimes I think I’m cursed in love. But even though I'm hurt I still love.

One-sided love or unrequited love, what does it really mean? 

It is when you love someone but that someone does not love you back; it's like loving a shadow. A shadow that will never be yours. I encounter this before back when I was in 2nd year high school. I fell in love with my best friend, I knew from the start that he knows it and the fact that he likes my friend, which really broke my heart but who am I to complain, he's not mine :(

Infatuation, do you know what this is?

- This is when someone love you, then you thought you love them too, but the truth it is just an infatuation. it's funny, cause its like you're just playing games until you realized you really fall for him already. I’ve been in this situation too, the boy I hate have a crush on me then as time passed by, I grew a lot to him. We're special friends. I thought I love him back but I don't I'm just returning his feelings.

LOVE, four letters word, but it means so much to everybody

 Loving someone is hurting yourself,

I fell in love for the first time, but i was played.

I WILL LOVE AGAIN

I am 24 years old, female. I've had my first serious relationship when i was in college. Actually, the guy was a friend of mine. He was the ex-boyfriend of one of my close friends. During those times, it has not been a great issue since their relationship was not that serious and we were still young that time. Anyway, my story went like this;

Anthony has been my boyfriend since 2nd year college, we were good friends before, actually i can consider him as my best friend,till i discovered that he's having feelings for me. At first i have rejected him, for i was not feeling anything special for him other than friendship. But then i thought, why don't i give him a chance? Knowing him, he's a very kind and loyal guy, as how i saw him.

After graduation, he got a job at a bank, while i was reviewing for the board exams. Everything was going well for us. Until i finally got a job also, and we both went busy. After a year on his job, he was transferred into another division, he became quite different and even more busy. I tried to understand this and kept in my mind that everything is still fine between us. But then, things became worst. We rarely see each other anymore, and he barely got time to see me. He always tells me thats work is the reason. Can you imagine, from being able to see each other everyday before, we've gone down to once a week or twice a month. And when he is with me, he looks so sleepy, so tired, and not even the mood to talk with me. What's even worst is, he is even like two hours late for our date most of the time.

Little by little, i lost my patience, and was hurt of our current situation. We oftentimes fight about this, but nothing happens even afterwards. Slowly, i think i was falling out of love for him, but that i don't know yet during those days.

I am new in my job that time, and i met a guy. His name is Christian. He is married, with one daughter. He is 4 years older than i am. When we first met, we were introduced by one of our officemates, i don't feel anything special about him, neither do i even have a crush on him. But i am a person who can be quoted as "one of the boys", i am quite cheerful and jolly, and my friends also say that i am fun to be with. 

Moving on with my story, i didn't noticed that Christian has been giving me special attention. Till one day, he asked the group for a night out and i was there with friends. The night had gone deeper, till everyone except me and him, went home. I was still sober that time for i didn't drank too much. We were talking about his problems about his wife, till he burst to me that he likes me. I was in shock and speechless for i have never imagined in my entire life to have an affair specially with a married guy. So i told him that maybe he was just attracted to me, but that would pass, and I've added that i love my boyfriend so much and i don't feel anything special for him. I told him to rather fix his marriage than thinking of things like that. And so he just kept quiet. But i have offered him my friendship which i said is the best i could offer, and he gladly accepted it.

Days gone by in the office, Anthony became even colder and worse, while Christian gave me more attention and affection that i could ever ask for. Then the thing that i had been fearing came, i'm falling for Christian already. I don't know how did that happened, but maybe because i was drowned by the attention he was giving me, which i also wish everyday that Anthony gives me.

And it happened, i just woke up one day having two boyfriends, i don't know if i should  be feeling guilty that time or what, but all i know is during those days, i am happy. 

Then one day, I've found out that Anthony was cheating on me. Months before i did. Which explains every single bit of his attitude towards me and our relationship. I can't even describe how painful that has been for me. At that same time, rumors about my relationship with Christian spread out of our office, which has became worse, and came to the knowledge of his wife. Literally, my life became miserable. But i was not thinking straight that time. I was so depressed of what Anthony has done to me,. our break up, and still, Christian was the one there to cheer me up. And that made me fall even more for him despite all the bad things people throw at me. 

A few months later, Christian got separated from his wife, though not yet legally, but he did that for me. He left his family and fought for me. At first, we were okay. I was in-love, and so is he. Even his ex-wife kept on ruining us, no one had separated us from each other. But after a year of fighting for our relationship, something went wrong. He became different, but i was trying to ignore it.

I have a friend who then took me out for dinner, she then introduced me to her boyfriend's bestfriend. His name is Lloydie. I can say, when we first met, i have noticed that he like me. But i told him i am committed right now and i cannot entertain his feelings for me. So he stopped courting me but still has been my friend.

 Then one day came, again, i have discovered that she had another girlfriend. That explained to me everything, why he goes home late, why he gets mad easily, why he physically hurt me, why he has changed so much.

I felt so used, so fooled, so stupid, and so mad. And i have asked myself why these things have been happening to me. I started questioning myself, "Am i a bad person to deserve this? It's too painful!" I've suffered from this for months, for him, i am still his girlfriend; for me, I've had enough. During these times, Lloydie was there. He was the one comforting me and cheering me up. But i told myself, i am not ready yet. I wanted to give myself a break. Love myself a little bit more, and rest. This i told him, and he understood. After a few months, i just woke up and told myself, YES, i am ready to fall in love again, and luckily, Lloydie is still there for me. And yes, i already love him that time. I just don't want to rush on it, because this time, i want everything to be perfect.

And i was right. I have tried to get to know him better, and guess what? We're together for almost a year now, still happy and in love. I've found my other half in him, my bestfriend, partner, lover, everything that i could ask for. And i can say, i am so looking forward for a future with him. I was just so amazed cause it is true! Life will teach you many lessons, will let you experience so much pain and suffering to learn, so that when the right person comes, you'll be ready, more mature, and a better person. 

Currently, Lloydie and I are engaged.. :) Though the wedding will be 3 years from now, we chose to build our future together,. We just want to be prepared for our future so as not to rush into things too fast. We're taking it slow. surely but carefully. :) Thank God, i've found forever in him.. :)

Perfect Rom@nce- tHe eXpression of lOve..

Our small fights and our long telephonic talks continued for say approximately 6 months into the summer of 2009 . Summer was when my Sister in law used to come visit because of her 2 month break so my free time further increased.

I would often accuse her of being partial/ ignoring me/ scheming against me/ prioritizing others over me and thus was motivated while making many of her decisions that concerned her friends, especially me. Each of such times she would fight with me, tell me off but then come back, correct me and tell me from right and wrong. This happened so many times that when I think in hindsight, her excusing me for my faults and short comings was maybe as big a gift from her as her love to me. 

Each of such times I would also promise her that I will change using my will power, I would overcome all my short comings and everything would soon be better. Little did I realize that will power is effective for controlling of vices, maybe controlling emotions and habits too but fails when one tries to change one's intrinsic nature and I failed, time and again failed and upset her. But Rhea would always come back, sooner or later, we would be together again and me the idiot would start preparing for the next default. 

Somewhere during this time because of demise of my Grandfather, our house was put up for sale. Rhea's brother was a part time property broker as well so she gave my number to him and soon her brother and me were interacting too for the sale of the house. But somehow he was not so successful in finding us a buyer as the demands of my parents and uncle and aunts were too stiff. Gradually he even stopped calling me with offers.

The fool that I was and my crazy mind was working overtime. I soon write an email to her saying that she has specifically told her brother to stop looking for a buyer as she, Rhea, would get exposed if the buyer came from her brother as I would have to explain to my family how I met Rhea. And whoops, this mail hits her hard for how could I accuse her of conniving against me, attributing motives where there were none.

She responded to my mail saying she has had enough, enough of me and my negative behavior, my negative thinking and had for all practical purposes finished it off. So she did not ever want to speak to me again. She wanted to put a stop to my childishness as it was becoming unbearable now and I had started targeting her family too. And when I read this mail, I was shocked at what I had done, at the effect it was taking. She had overlooked all my previous misdemeanors and taken them in her stride but this time I guess I had gone beyond what was acceptable.

For the first time ever, I cried, oh how I cried. Night after night, day after day, without any reason and without any provocation I found myself crying and crying. Little did I realize what I was missing but just cried at the loss of someone who had, over time, become close, very close to me. And then i get this brain wave that I am in love, I realized that this mist be love for day and night, Rhea revolved around me. In office, at meetings, at home, during meals and while sleeping too, she started overriding every thought in my mind. I had not doubt whatsoever in my mind that I was in Love.

Initial reactions varied from being over joyed for I had always wanted to experience this emotion to being sad because this discovery came when she had dumped and gone off. I was in no man's land, neither here nor there and did not know how to react. I had a close friend called Mishri (also from Tagged) and I confided this dilemma with her. She said just one thing that if you are so sure about your love, then waste not a moment and go across to her and tell her your feelings before it is too late.

I spent some 1-2 weeks preparing a letter for Rhea. Wrote it and re-wrote it several times before finally one fine day crossed my figures and toes I sent it across to her. I waited with all hope pinned to this one letter, and waited until one fine day she responded. Not positively but nevertheless responded by sending me a return email saying that I did not love her but wanted her so that I could play with her like a toy. Anyway this was an enough opener for me and we had a brief conversation over email thereafter spread over some days.

My friend Rhea was back ... and I loved her…

I h@te eVeryThing aBout yOu, But i Love You.!

I hate everything about you!

I hate that you try to hide the relationship with you friends from me

I hate the wrong you've done to me, and act like it never happened

I hate the way you look at me sometimes, that blank look of why?

But I love you!

I hate that I'm here and they're there, and its like you not here

I hate that I know I will always be there, and you here when you want to be

I hate that I love you so much, and feel like you like me

But I love you!

I hate that Ive done so much for you, and I'm still here after everything you've done

I hate that you forgot about all that was done like it never happened while I'm still here wondering if it'll happen again.

I hate that you put the blame on me for your actions

But I love you!

I hate that I lost so much trust in you

I hate that you made me not trust you

I hate that I'll never know if I can trust like I used too

But I love you!

n@sEeB sAaDe lIkhe RABB nE Kachi pEncil naAl.. :|

Sajan russ gaye... tutt gayi yaari... dushman ho gayi duniya saari... ki kariye hun koi nahi sunda dukhi dil da haal... n@sEeB sAaDe lIkhe RABB nE Kachi pEncil naAl..

 

Sajna ditiyan dard saugatan... haunkeya de vich langh gayiyan raatan... akhiyan meet ke marni pe gayi dukh de kho vich chaal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Maar javanga dukhre seh ke... rova ga hun kalla beh ke... mere naal tu sohniye ni eh chali hai chaal kamal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Jit ke main te har gayi baazi... rakhe rabb ve tainu raazi... hassdeya zindagi langh jandi je rakhda mainu naal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Pyar tere vich rogi hoya... jattan da putt jogi hoya... sapni banke larh gaye teri gutt de kaale waal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Tu ki russ gaya... duniya russ gayi... tere aun di aas vi mukk gayi... samjh ke pagal roore maaran nikke nikke baal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Chot laggi hai sajri sajri... ujar gayi hai dil di nagari... ki hoya hai ronde kyon ho loki karan sawal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Rova gi main kalli beh ke... sohneya tera naa le le ke... tere naal ral ke lekhan meri chali puthi chaal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Kise te kahnu shikwe kariye... vichaar ke jeen to changa hai arriye... aa sheene naal lagg ke maariye... loki den mishaal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Sajna enjh de jaadoo challe, ho gaye doven kalle kalle... bedarda mainu neend nahi aundi langh gaye ne kayi saal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Maar javanga dukhre seh ke... rova ga hun kalla beh ke... mere naal tu sohniye ni eh chali hai chaal kamal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Jit ke main te har gayi baazi... rakhe rabb ve tainu raazi... hassdeya zindagi langh jandi je rakhda mainu naal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...

Sajan russ gaye... tutt gayi yaari... dushman ho gayi duniya saari... ki kariye hun koi nahi sunda dukhi dil da haal... naseeb sade likhe rabb ne kachi pencil naal...
Sajna ditiyan dard saugatan... haunkeya de vich langh gayiyan raatan... akhiyan meet ke marni pe gayi dukh de kho vich chaal...
n@sEeB sAaDe lIkhe RABB nE Kachi pEncil naAl..

Beginning Of The eNd

"You're a slut of a thing." He gritted his teeth and a tear rolled down my cheek from under my sunglasses.

I felt awkward. Our mate was sitting in the back seat of the car, having to whitness and listen to this. I felt uncomfortable. I can't start imagine how he was feeling. I never asked him. Only apologized.

4 days passed with no communication, apart from thundering on my door, a bunch of flowers left on my doorstep, me re-living the situation over and over, and a few text messages.
I was stuck on the other side of the continent, no way out, with a guy that supposedly loved me, and this was happening. Wake up call at its finest I would have happily agreed.

I asked myself then... Do I live for this stuff? Surely not. If pain's meant to make you remember you're alive, then I would have rather have been dead.

I took him back on day 5 of course.

Painful lOve

i gave and i tried
i gave u all i could give you
but it was all useless
u never saw me the way i wanted u to see me
but the pain tht i feel when i see you with her kills me inside
its like i can actually FEEL my heart break inside
the worst part is that i dont want to let you go
i still think your special to me
and im still am not used to the aching of my heart
bc somewhere deep in my heart i know it will never be
i wish i was like her
ive tried to be like her
but thats just not me
i dont know what i have to do to get u to see me for wat i am
id rather be with u than with anyone else
and i feel like im just doing everything wrong
 tht we r so close but yet so far away
and tht maybe my efforts r useless and tht im pushing u farther away from me
but i wish u could realize my efforts bc even though im tired
i dont want to give up
       no
not on you

How To Get Over A Breakup

Breakups SUCK. We all know that. And the pain of a breakup is still fresh in my heart. For nearly two weeks, I walked around feeling like a shell of myself. It was one of only a few times in my life where I legitimately felt depressed.

With that being said, within a month I had found a woman who I was able to have amazing rapport with on all levels. Within a month. Let me explain.

Many people carry the notion that it takes a long time to get over a breakup with someone you loved/still love. This is true. . .to some extent. It is a difficult transition. However, if your transition period has turned into a transition ERA, it may be time to change your perspective. These two changes in perspective will help speed along your healing process, as they helped with mine.

Accepting the Problem

It sounds so simple. If you know what you want in a relationship, you will KNOW if any given relationship meets your standards. But how many of us have had relationships where we just go with the flow. We realize that there’s a problem. Maybe your boyfriend starts spending more and more nights “out with the guys.” Or maybe your girlfriend only confronts indirectly, and you realize that she’s angry long after the issue first appears. We see the relationship as having a problem. But, one of the keys to getting over the breakup YOURSELF as the one with the problem. YOU are the one who has a problem with some aspect of your previous relationship, even if it is simply that you didn’t see a breakup coming (read ”lack of communication”). When you claim the PROBLEM, you reclaim your POWER over what this relationship means to your life. You can begin to reflect on why you have a problem with that part of the relationship, and what your needs are in future relationships.

Valuing the Uniqueness in Others

Accepting the problem becomes much easier if you also change your perspective toward getting back on the market. Many times we carry these feelings that there will never be anyone like that special someone that we broke up with. And, well, this is true. No one can replace that person. However, that is equally true for the unlimited numbers of partners that are available to you after a breakup. The second way to get over your breakup slump quicker is value the unique qualities of people.

Realize that of the women and men that you pass everyday there are limitless amounts of experiences waiting to be enjoyed. Now, I’m not telling you to pounce on the mailman tomorrow, or dive over the counter to make-out with the Starbucks clerk. What I’m saying is to not only be open to the new experiences and perspectives that others have to offer, but to actively VALUE them. Don’t let the past keep you from the endless SURPRISE that the future offers everyday. Ask that hot guy, “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” Then tell him that’s payback for the pick-up line he tried at the office Christmas party. Make friends with the hot girl down the hall. Tell her you always like to make friends with short people — it makes you feel better about after telling your midget jokes. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Those are the moments where we we are truly alive.

Have fun! Life is too short to let the past define us. Enjoy,

I'm really sorry

And...Here's the bad news... 


Okay,so saturday morning,I was at the mall,with my cousins,and boyfriend.I wasn't feeling to great,had real bad abdominal pains,so my boyfriend gave me the keys to his car to go lay back a little.On my way out of the store,I started feeling really dizzy,my legs got weak,and I fainted.Unfortunately,when I fell,I guess I hit myself against the corner of a table or something,but I didn't know,Because by this point the pains were excruciatingly bad.I couldn't even feel the blood or the pain in my head,and I was out for about half a minute on the floor.Thank goodness no one saw me-even though it could've been more dangerous that they didnt-I hate making scenes.So yah,I managed to get myself up and to the car,and layed there for a while.The pains,although it seemed like they couldn't,got worse,and I got into a cold sweat,so I went back to the store,to look for my boyfriend,and found him.I told him my stomach was killing me,but he noticed the blood that was probably all over my face,and then rushed me to the northridge hospital.Luckily,the waiting room was empty,so I was rushed in right away.When they asked me what happened,I told them that I think I fainted and hit my head.The first thing,out of anything,I guess because they noticed my boyfriend carried me in,they handed me a cup.I was totally against this-because me and my boyfriend aren't like that,especially him...not so much me.So I had this long and interesting conversation with the doctor,while my stomach was killing me and my brains were falling out,about when I'd had my last period and was positive I wasn't pregnant or sexually active.Sorry to give you this update on my personal life,although it ties in to what I'm going to add to this,,although it doesn't have a thing to do with this-Abstinence is the best thing to do,cuz if you do get pregnant,you really don't wanna be falling on your ass and face all the time,trust me,its totally embarassing,especially since i'm sixteen.You don't want this,at all,not at this age!Wait at least till your out of high school, or marriage if you can! Trust me,when they handed me that cup for a pregnancy test,it was the most embarrasing,horrible,feeling,although,if I was I wouldn't mind,Id make up for what I did and take care and love my baby...but back to the point!So yaww, After that,I had two ultrasound for like the abdomen pains and stuff...and then someone cleaned the wound,although it was still bleeding like hell,and then I had an MRI,and I was given medicine and stuff to calm the pain,and I knocked out for about two hours.So after that,they gave me the MRI results, and it was all good.I was later taken to get two CAT (CT) scans,and wait for it... 
They told me there was nothing wrong with my head!No concussion,no iregularites...so I'm guessin the crazy dreams and ideas and stuff are all natural about me :) 
so yaww,After that...I had an echo-idk if thats what they call it in english,thass what they call it in spanish-its like this heart test thingy and yaww :) so also...I had about five of those tubes thingys of blood taken out for testing...and then I had more medicine and so I crashed again.So yaww,after that,My wound was cleaned again,and,its like right under my eyebrow,so it won't be so noticeable,and the doctor did a really good job with the stitch work,and I've been taking really good care of it and It probably won't be noticeable. 


So heres the verdict:I have to avoid the sun for about ten days,ice it four times a day,neosporin two times a day,and not wet the area at all for about a week and a half,so Its hard to shower,wash my face...etc.So I have to be really careful and all.I had five stitches,I've been on some meds,(AGAIN,lol,Get ready for some real good ideas for my stories,like last time,lmao) and I've had friends visit me,alot,although I was only there for a day,at the hospital.thanks to that,thoughh,I got flowers and a heckload of teddy bears,and a whole bunch of nice facebook messages :) so yaww,I'll try and post again soon,and I'll try and work around all this...sorry,again,I'm so incredibly sorry :( 


I love you guyss,I'm so sorry,and also,I'm working hard on my new story,I'll try to post for Hate is a passionate emotion like I promised,Although no guarantees for anything.Sorry to annoy you with all this,you probably didn't care...Again,so Sorry,like you have no idea!

Why does this always happen to me

My storys might not be as bad as some peoples on here but it is bad enough to make me cry myself to sleep sometimesmy mum and dad are divorced i used to wait for hours upon hours waiting to be picked up by my dad and sometimes he never came he didnt get in touch for weeks sometimes months he has changed a bit now as he is now paying benifts.but i have only started realising how much pain he has given my mother, another thing is he is 40 and he dates 25 year olds sometimes younger but he is now dating one with a kid and if he mistreats her there is a young child involved aswell.and lately me any mother havent stopped arguing me and my big brother have big and proper fist fights sometimes i wanna get away from it all.at school there is this lad who is 2 years older than me and he harrases me like feels me up and he brags about it to his mates and to me and he wont stop i have tried ignoring him but he always finds his way back around i have also tried telling a teacher too but they said that they couldnt do anything any advice?

The Letter

Dear Rosy…

I remembered the moment I reveal my biggest secret, and I also remembered the moment you do the same. The 1-hour call changed me a lot. I just can’t forget how I feel that moment.
I was attending a camp. Everything was OK, but one.
I hope you understand how do I feel and how I suffer from my own mistake, and most of all, you understand why do I feel so ashamed of myself.
It starts when I fell in love with you. The day I left Jugra is the first day I have to live without seeing your face. Remember what I wrote in EVERYTHING IS A REASON? I waited you at 3 o’clock and you didn’t come. Zu replaced you, and giving me a bag of gift inside. I was surprised, you gave me Cheezels. I love Cheezels.
I was so confident that I can get straight A’s. Sadly, I wasn’t. We both apply the scholarship for overseas study. You got it, and I’m not. I was mourning and you were happy. My mum was trying not to remember and my dad made me mad all the times, opposing me, until now.
During the days, I always shouted my parents on the phone. I spent most of my credit on you. I’d nobody except you.
I feel a little relieved when i was in Labuan. I was away from my parents. But, I was so disappointed that you got the opportunity to study overseas. since then, I often went to the cyber cafe, and surf for information on US universities. Sadly, I feel down because it is not my fate to have the same chance as you. I eagerly forced my parents to send me away. I feel that I want to run away from Malaysia since then.
And days passed by, and the moment came.
You said that you have a boyfriend.
I really feel down until now despite some friends actually helped me. WH, for example, is the one who help me through the hard times. I feel very disappointed and terrible. I started to shun myself from thinking about anyone. I really feel sorry to my parents. I just shout and say bad words to them. I hated them. And I hated myself so much. I went to the counselor for help for 16 times, but nothing happened. I feel so heartless until now.
Dear Fatin,
actually I worried about you, honestly. I worried about being apart with the one I love the most. I don’t want to lose you. I understand how hard you try to achieve and grab what you want. I ever imagined how hard your life will be when you are there. I ever imagined how hard my life will be without you. And the most of all, I EVER IMAGINED HOW DARK MY FUTURE WILL BE. I hope you understand how hard I regain back my teenage years.

Yours sincerely,

Harshit