The School Bus

Long last, I am now a senior. I’ve been going through a student’s daily routine for almost three months. At least, we have these three days break. Our very much awaited retreat. My classmates would gladly talk about whom they would want to seat with, what would their baon be, and the things they would want to do. We are all super excited about this. But my thrill falls upon the riding of the school bus.

It would be my first time, but I was always enchanted with its curtains, its mirrors and its seats. Last year, I would stare at it and see my reflection. I was always this awful and in this school grounds I am nothing. It wasn’t easy at all. I would want you to see me but you would not. You have already deserted me, and I’m without help. You have taken miles forward but I am rooted to this.

You rode this bus a year ago. You were seated on the third row near the window. I came to school that early just to see you leave. I was dreaming that you would direct your eyes on me, but you never did. I will be seating on the same spot today. Maybe you are still there. I can live your memories; your gentle face, your sweet smile and your silky hair. I hope a single strand has been left.

The cool breeze of the air-conditioned bus makes me shiver. It was reasonable enough that you’re wearing your pink jacket that day. Good thing I brought my black. If you were just here, our colors would match. Maybe we can talk until we reach Tagaytay. Well, what an illusion! Right now, perhaps you are still sleeping with your college friends in your dormitory and all of you had never known me. I will just spend my time sleeping in the same seat you occupied, after the group’s prayer is accomplished. I am a weirdo and I can just simply do anything I want here. I can be asleep until I reach there.

The first sunlight of dawn then touches me. I was awakened. Now my classmates are all impatient. I can hear them complaining restless because of the long trip. I sigh and get myself silent. If you were just here, what would you feel? Would you complain too? Or would you simply smile at the world like you always do?

Five kilometers traveled. You are inundating my thoughts. You are the same person who left me in bitterness and tears. You are the same person who drowned me to yourself. You did not even learn about any of this. It’s your little actions and graceful moves. It is all it takes to let me live.

Maybe you are now building your busy life. In ways I know not. In ways you know not. There is someone behind you; someone who loved you and someone who still loves you.

You may not even know me, but my love knows you. It will always see you no matter where, when and how. I am a man and I know it will. I will stand for it. I am a man and seasons may come, but I will still be this man. Either in or out of the school bus.